Sunday, January 3, 2010

A re-post from the past

I'm feeling a little down today.  It's the first Sunday that Calvary is going on without us, the church where we thought we would live out our lives.  The church where we though our girls would grow up and serve in.  It's going on, minus us and other good leaders.  I wish I could say it's God's will, but I can't.  I can say, God allows bad things to happen for our good.  I found this post I wrote on my old blog and wanted to re-post it.  I wrote this months ago, long before the strange things happened at our church.  It's still true today...

Does God Really Care?

I’ve written this post a few times now, hopefully I can get it right this time. Over the past few years, my husband and I have been going through probably the hardest things we have ever experienced. We’ve felt despised, unwelcome and unloved. I can’t explain how badly this hurts. And, it seems like it will never end.

It’s not just happening to us. It seems like Satan is attacking the churches of the world. The churches, the Leaders/Pastors, the congregations. We have dear friends who are losing their jobs as pastors and having to move from congregations they love, away from family, friends, school, all that’s familiar.

When I’m feeling especially hurt, I have to stop and wonder, “What great thing does God have on its way that Satan is so interested in us right now?”

And then, I start to wonder, “Or, has God just given up on watching us? Is He just fed up with the world and the sin, tired of chastising His children?”

Mostly, I just get sad. I want to be in a church that loves each other enough to hold ourselves accountable to the word of God. Where the community sees and recognizes that love as so unique to anything they have experienced. A church that puts the worlds needs ahead of its own.

And I end up having a pity party. I have become so used to this that I think I can hide it well, put up a front for my children and those I come across during the day. The only one I can’t fool, or so I think , is Troy.

But, it seems just when I can’t feel any worse, as I’m sitting around wondering if God cares anymore, He goes out of his way to remind me that He does.

And, He doesn’t just show us in a small way. Nope. He piles on the blessings. Things we could never imagine possible. Just this past week, He took us from such a low point to such a high. Troy and I talk through the day and he has 2-3 blessings each time we talk. Dear people at church go out of their way to show us they love us and are grateful for us. God answers prayers we’ve been praying for months – years. He increases our joy beyond what we thought possible.

So, back to my title, “Does God really care?” I challenge you to give Him a try. Live by what the Bible says, not by what your friend says. Don’t give in to the pressure to take the easy road, the popular road. Take the true road. We had a special speaker in our mother’s group today. He spoke about children with learning disabilities. Apparently, a few years ago, there was a study to see if special education classes worked for these children. They compared the reading levels of those who went to the special ed class vs. those who remained in the regular class. Those who stayed in the regular class had a reading level much higher than those who were removed. His observation was that those in the special ed class were aided well and learned to read well, but those in the regular class were pushed to learn at the level with the other children. Their being pushed and almost forced to grow instead of having it easy seem to have put them ahead in the long run. It makes me think of what God is doing to us, challenging us now, allowing the hurt, making us grow for something in the future. Something we need to be stronger for, confident for, able to come up with the right answer through our years of training.

Matthew 10:29-31 (CEV)

29Aren’t two sparrows sold for only a penny? But your Father knows when any one of them falls to the ground. 30Even the hairs on your head are counted. 31So don’t be afraid! You are worth much more than many sparrows.


  1. I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. My Grandfather has been an Evangelist since his 20's, and even now at 83 he can tell you how he has been in these shoes on many occasion.

    We are not currently in an organized church body because of the very fact that the Word of God is scarcely taught anymore. We're just waiting, and praying, and searching for the right place to go...It's been hard being out of it, because I've been in it my entire life. But, God is faithful and He has been teaching us so much more than we could have ever imagined. Simply with His Word. Stay true to the Gospel, stay true to the message of the Cross, and God will take care of the rest.

  2. So true. I'm so sorry for all the hurt you've experienced but I am excited to see all that He is blessing you with now!!! Love you!