Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What I think of as I wait for this baby...

As I sit here being grumpy that I'm almost 3 days past my due date, I reflect on how I "know" I'm 3 days past.  It's because I know exactly how old my baby is.  It's because my baby was a frozen embryo for 5 years before it began growing inside me.

I think of how lucky I am.  I survived 5 years of infertility.  I survived a near-cancer diagnosis and a year of treatment.  I survived IVF and all those shots.  I was lucky - I got pregnant the first time.  I had embryos leftover to freeze.  I have two beautiful girls and a baby on the way from that cycle.  I have 2 angel babies waiting for me in heaven.

So many people aren't as lucky as me.  So many are still waiting for that first baby.  So many keep getting pregnant but losing their babies.  So many are waiting on adoption for their baby.  So many have given up on ever having a baby.

So, even as I sit here hoping the storms outside and the full moon tonight will relieve me from this uncomfortable pregnancy, I couldn't be happier that I'm pregnant.  I can't believe how lucky I am that I can sit here, listen to my one daughter singing songs I can't understand and the other one singing songs I really can't understand.  Listening to them fighting over a chair one minute, then playing together giggling the next.  Waiting anxiously to meet the "baby" as they both love to say.

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